Nobody Knows It But Me
by Jewels Light
Summary: Just a short song fic about Inu Yasha dealing with his feeling after Kagome goes back to her time. This is my first try at something like this, let me know what you think.


Nobody Knows It But Me

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inu Yasha and pals. That credit goes to Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own the song either, and while I know who sings it, I have no idea who wrote it...just that it wasn't me.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, I am back on familiar ground with the goodbye scenario. I am a sucker for this kind of thing. Kagome has gone back to her time and now Inu Yasha is trying to deal with his feelings. This is the first time that I have tried anything like this, but the song wouldn't get out of my head. As always, Read and Enjoy.

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I pretend that I'm glad you went away

These 4 walls close in more every day

I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me

Kagome has been gone for a couple of days now. She saw me with Kikyo and just left. She didn't say anything, just looked at me with those sad, hurt eyes. Well, that is one less thing that I have to worry about now. She won't be getting in the way constantly, and I can move faster. I won't have to worry about her getting hurt. It doesn't matter that I feel empty again...I am used to it.

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Like a clown I put on a show

The pain is real even if nobody knows

I'm crying inside, and nobody knows it but me

We continue on our search for the shards, and while it seems that nothing has changed, everyone knows that it has. The light has gone out of our group and now everyone is a little more quiet. The damned kitsune won't stop crying and Sango keeps shooting me dirty looks. She won't use that boomerang thing although sometimes I wish she would. I am the only one who goes on as if it doesn't matter that she is no longer here. I have to pretend like I don't care. I don't want anyone to think that I am weak.

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Why didn't I say the things I needed to say

How could I let my angel get away

Now my world is just tumbling down

I can see it so clearly, but you're nowhere around

I wish that I could have explained how I felt before she left. I have to fulfill my promise to Kikyo. She died because of me once already, if I let that happen again, I would be proving to everyone that I really am as worthless as they thought. Even worse, I would believe it too. Kagome just taught me that I do have some good qualities, whether I want them or not. I won't let that go now.

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Nights are lonely the days are so sad

Just keep thinking about the love that we had

I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me

Only at night, while in my tree, will I let her memory in. Otherwise it would consume me completely. I see her everywhere. Kagome smiling. Kagome so angry that she made me "Sit". Kagome playing with Shippo. Kagome rushing to help, even when it put her in jeopardy. Kagome, my Kagome...now gone. More often than not, silent tears roll down my cheeks as I sit there and watch the stars. God how I miss her.

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How blue can I get...you can ask my heart

Just like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart

A million words couldn't say just how I feel

A million years from now I know...I'll be loving you still

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I feel so scattered. I don't know what I want anymore, I just know that I don't want to be alone. No, I can at least be honest with myself. I know exactly what I want...who I want. But now it might be too late. I don't know how to fix the damage thats been done, or if it even can be fixed. All that I know is that I love her, and I always will. No amount of time that separates us will change that. If I go to her, would she let me back into her life? Even with all the pain I caused, and with the future still so uncertain? I still have a promise to fulfill, and I will do it, but maybe it won't end in my death. All that I know is that I need to see her again. I jumped out of the tree and raced for the well, knowing that I had to do this before my courage failed.

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Nights are lonely the days are so sad

Just keep thinking about the love that we had

I'm missing you, and nobody knows it but me

Soon I was sitting in the tree outside her window, watching her sob into her pillow. It was breaking my heart. She wasn't suited to tears, her happy smile was what I lived for. It looks like she has been just as sad and lonely as I have been these past few days. I heard her whisper my name softly. I jumped through the window and pulled her into my arms. 

"I'm here Kagome. Please don't cry."

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too..." Nothing has changed. Everything has changed. All I know is that I need her like I need the air that I breathe. 

_And nobody knows it but me..._

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End file.
